Break
by Echo1317
Summary: Three times Sirius Black knew what it felt like to break.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N** This is my definition of procrastination.

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Chapter 1: Brother

When the news of Regulus Black's death reached the ears of his brother Sirius, there was little that the last Black could have done to prepare himself.

The news came in the form of a letter from Andromeda Tonks, his estranged aunt. He remembered as his hands began to shake, the words on the page blurring together so that he couldn't make them out anymore. He pictured the scene in his head so clearly, his little brother kneeling at the feet of the Dark Lord, being hit with a blast of green light-

"Argh!" Sirius yelled, punching the wall in front of him. The letter dropped to the ground, but he wasn't too concerned about it. A sob wracked through his body, and although he hadn't particularly cared for his brother as a person, he was still his brother, his flesh and blood, and he was _dead_.

Tears overtook Sirius as he sank to his knees, recalling the last time he had spoken to Regulus, the summer that he left home.

"_You're really leaving, then?" Regulus asked him, standing in the doorway, rubbing his arm awkwardly. Sirius was throwing things into his Hogwarts trunk angrily._

"_Of course I'm leaving! Are you really as stupid as you look?" Sirius roared, and Regulus flinched. There was something in his older brothers voice that made him want to turn away, the hatred and anger he emitted was stifling._

"_Just give it a rest, ok? I know you have other ideals that the rest of us, but-" _

"_Other ideals? Other ideals?!" Sirius drew his wand, turning suddenly and pressing the tip of it into Regulus's chest, "You're nothing but a bunch of pig-headed, pure-blooded, fucking scum! If you want to call what you have ideals, you're joking with yourselves!"_

_There was a silence between the two as Sirius restrained himself and stowed away his wand, continuing to toss objects into the trunk. _

"_Where will you go?" Regulus asked innocently, and it took Sirius a moment to answer. _

"_I don't know. The Leaky Cauldron. Hogsmead. Anywhere but this place." _

_Another bout of cold, smothering silence. Sirius slammed his trunk shut, throwing it onto the floor and dragging it behind him as he stormed past Regulus, with the final words._

"_I hope you all burn in hell!"_

And now, Regulus was gone, and even if he had been a piece of filth, he was still Sirius's brother. If he could, he would take it back, take all of the harsh words he had said and shove them aside, instead choosing to tell his brother that he was sorry and that even though they had made different choices, he loved him.

Sirius clutched the letter again in his fist, knowing that he could not. This was war, and Regulus had been on the wrong side. Maybe he got what he deserved.

But that didn't mean it wouldn't still hurt.

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Hope you like the first third of this! Please review. :)

-Echo137


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N **Still procrastinating- this time I ought to be getting ready for school...**

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**Chapter 2: Love **

For a moment, time stopped. The world shifted under him, and Sirius Black had no choice but to fall to his knees. Hr vaguely heard someone scream, and for all he could tell it could have been him. His vision was swimming and his ears were ringing. There she was in front of him, just a few short feet away, her limp figure that seemed just out of reach…

_It was spring at Hogwarts, and Sirius was as happy as anyone could be. The school year was almost over, and sixth year had been a breeze, especially with Moony doing most of his homework. At present he was walking along the edge of the lake with an angel, a blue eyed blond haired piece of heaven. She held his hand and smiled warmly, making his heart beat faster and his thoughts whirl. _

"_What do you suppose you'll be doing once school is over?" She asked him, looking up at him through her long lashes. _

"_I dunno," Sirius said quite honestly, "Maybe I'll work for the Order. That sounds like a good way to spend my time."_

"_Isn't that dangerous, though? What with You-Know-Who becoming so powerful?" She was obviously worried, it was clearly etched on her lovely features. Sirius barked a laugh, and she smiled, angelically of course._

"_That's part of the draw, though, isn't it? Every moment, fighting for your life, not knowing if you'll make it or not? Spells flying left and right, everything blurring-" Sirius stopped as he saw the look of fear on her face. He smiled lopsidedly._

"_Just promise me you'll be careful," She said, stopping and turning to face him, "That you won't lose your head and get hurt."_

"_Since when have I ever lost my head?" Sirius asked, his voice low and intense. He pulled her closer to him, his arms around her waist and hers around his neck. She lightly brushed her lips against his, teasing him with her kiss._

"_I love you, Sirius Black," She murmured quietly._

"_I love you, Melody Elias…"_

Sirius felt himself being pulled up off the ground and dragged away, his legs only half working. When he realized that whoever was pulling him was pulling him away from his angel, he struggled against them, trying desperately to get back to her.

"Melody! Melody, please, get up! Melody! Melody!"

Through the haze of the smoke from various spells, Sirius could see a black-clad figure kneeling down next to the body. Bellatrix smiled lazily at him, running her long, sharp fingernail over the girl's face so that it bled. Bellatrix cackled at Sirius's look of rage.

"Come on, Padfoot, we have to go!" James yelled at him, working with Remus to lead Sirius away from the already lost battle.

They apparated to a safe house just outside of St. Ottery Catchpole, where Sirius collapsed. James put a hand on his shoulder, which he shook off. Sirius pulled himself off the ground and wandered away, tears still running quickly down his face.

She had made him promise to be safe. To think before he acted. But she was the one who had thrown herself in front of Bellatrix's curse so that he wouldn't be hit by it.

War had casualties. He had learned that long ago.

Too bad he never imagined that it would sacrifice her.

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I think I like this chapter better than the first one.

-Echo1317


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N** One more chapter...**

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**Chapter 3: Friends**

The house was on fire.

This was the first thought that came to minds as Sirius Black approached the home of Lily and James Potter. His flying motorbike had barely touched down when Sirius jumped down from it, throwing water charms over the blaze as fast as he could. Before long he spotted other figures emerging from the shadows, those of Rubeus Hagrid and Albus Dumbledore. With a quick swish of his wand, the latter had cleared the house of all smoke and flame, leaving only the charred remains of the place as proof that a fire had ever even occurred.

Against Hagrid's howls of worry, Sirius dove head first into the wreckage, clambering over broken furniture and fallen objects. The living room was almost completely burned, except for the wall paper, which Sirius knew that Lily had placed an experimental anti-flame charm. The gifted witch had also charmed a few possessions, as well as herself, James, and baby Harry, but she hadn't wanted to test it and risk burning them. Sirius could only hope that it was as useful on people as it was on inanimate things. He stumbled up the stairs and to the darkened hallway, where he discovered a sight that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

James was laying face up on the ground, his hazel eyes staring lifelessly up at the ceiling. His wand was still in his hand, but he did not grip it, as he would have in life. Sirius put his hand over his mouth to stifle a gasp, fighting back the urge to retch all over his best friend's dead body.

A tiny part of his mind didn't believe it. Prongs, strong, invincible Prongs, couldn't possibly be dead. He was James Potter, he had a house, a family, a life…

The sound of crying brought Sirius out of his thoughts. Harry. There was a chance that he was unharmed, or at the very least alive- a slim chance, but a chance all the same. Sirius gingerly stepped around James, avoiding having to look at him anymore. Scorch marks were etched on the walls, some made by fire and some by magic. A shiver ran though Sirius's body as he touched the knob to Harry's bedroom- it was ice cold.

Sirius opened the door quickly, and the tears that had threatened him a few moments before spilled over. Just in front of Harry's crib, there lay another still, lifeless body. Lily was laying face down, he arms spread out in front of her and her long, red hair splayed around what little you might be able to see of her face. Baby Harry was standing shakily at the edge of the crib, holding the white bars with small, chubby fists. He smiled widely at the sight of Sirius, showing off his tiny front teeth. A small sob escaped Sirius as he rushed to the boy, pulling him into his arms and holding him close. Harry tugged on his godfather's hair, giggling and innocently unaware of the tragedy that had just taken place. As far as he knew, the man with the green light had disappeared because he was done with his tricks, and Mommy was just taking a nap. Sirius stood with Harry for a very long time, rocking the boy until he fell asleep.

Sirius knew now.

This was what it felt like to break.

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Now, Sirius Black is stunned and falling backwards. He sees his cousin cackling. He sees his godson screaming. He thinks back on all the people who the war has claimed. He is about to join them.

Sirius Black breaks through the curse.

He smiles.

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I don't remember if the house _was _on fire, but I made it that way cause I couldn't find it in the book, so please bare with me. Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review! :)

-Echo1317


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